An Advent Detox

"Advent then is a time for judging the choices we make in how we are living our lives.  Advent is a ritual moment for confronting discomforting truths. It catches us in the act of living unconnected from the Gospel..." -- Advent and Christmas (Bridges to Contemplative Living with Thomas Merton), The Merton Institute for Contemplative Living

Detox - where a system is returned to normal after becoming used to living with unhealthy substances. 

I need one of these on my spiritual plane.  Not that I don't make more than my fair share of physically unhealthy choices, but this is in addition to trying to fix that diet and exercise deficiency.  I think that I need cleansing from my addiction to negativity.  I suffer from a decline in my ability to produce well-being cells because my generic despondency is choking them out.  

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, you should know that I've been like this for a long, long time.  Heck, when I was in high school, my mother continually threatened to send me to charm school.  I'm sure she got sick of seeing me walk around with my arms crossed, scowling.  I was emo before emo was cool.  

I'm planning to start with a version of step 4 of the 12-steps that have helped so many of my friends in the past.  I need to complete a "searching and fearless moral inventory."  Yuck.  For me, this is looking like paying attention to when I'm trending blue and putting a name to it.  Whether it's boredom, depression, covetousness - I need to call it out and face it. 

This won't be a permanent cure for my inclination to gloom.  Without both hands firmly on the wheel (10 and 2, dammit! 10 AND 2!!) my attitude will have a tendency to pull to the left.  I'm not sure how far I will get in four weeks.  I'm going to need concentration, and a lot of help from God, to help me manage the underlying attraction.  And, like step 5, I'm going to have to admit it all to God, and, in lieu of a sponsor, I'm going to need to lean on my community, so I'm probably going to admit it all to you, too.

Now, because I can, and because I need a pick-me-up, here's a random song that makes me smile.  Oddly enough, I just realized that this is all about a change in attitude.  How about that.