It's Alright (Eventually?)

Haven't been here in a while.  Well, no.  Not true.  I come here every night to sit and think.  It's just been tough finding something to say.  Lately things haven't been going so well. 

One of the blades of the ceiling fan fell off.  Just fell off.  So that's a goner.

The dishwasher installer guys broke my sink and counter top and I've been waiting to hear from their insurance company about sending an adjuster.  So I remain without a working sink and dishwasher.  Well, I do use the sink to wash the dishes, but I have to keep an eye on the bucket under the drain.  I don't know how long I will try to hold out waiting for the insurance guy to call - I'm afraid to get it fixed for fear it will interfere with getting the claim to go through successfully.  And I hope the guys won't do anything with my credit card number.

Upstairs toilet is now officially broken, I guess.  It kept overflowing (pouring through the floor to the room below it) and now it won't stop running at all.  So the water's off in the house except for short, coordinated bursts of cleansing activities.

I have mice.  And squirrels. Noisy insomniac rodents.

Stuff hit the fan big time for me at work.  This week I'm in a "lock down" trying to figure out how to save my project.  I have until next week to figure it out.  It's pretty uncomfortable, to say the least.

There are two much-too-personal things that have gone south over the last two weeks as well.  I won't be sharing those.

I know I shouldn't complain, but that knowledge no longer stops me.  I suppose the good news is that none of these things is a matter of heaven or hell; I'm not sure that makes it any easier. 

Tonight, it's raining like mad.  I really hope that the roof holds up.  If that breaks, I think I will, too.

I sure could use a lullaby.

In Plain Sight

“I am an invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allen Poe; nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie extoplasms. I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids — and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination — indeed, everything and anything except me.” ― Ralph Ellison

Of all my powers, invisibility is by far my least favorite. You may think it would be cool to be able to sneak into a movie, or slink around and spy on people and listen to their conversations.  In reality, it's just not all it's cracked up to be.  The most annoying thing about it is that it's hard to control.  It almost seems random - sometimes when I try to activate it, it doesn't work at all.  Sometimes I can only invoke a sort of partial cloaking device.  Then sometimes it's triggered without me even knowing it, and at the least desirable times.  Perhaps I just need more practice with it.

It's a great, or, dare I say, a necessary attribute for God.  But, when push comes to shove, I'm pretty sure I'd rather be seen.

Just a thought; that's all.   

Here and Heaven

I just want to say that I know that my posts aren't always (at all) theologically correct or edifying.

I know they aren't a reflection of a victorious Christian life.

I know they aren't particularly inspirational.

I know they probably aren't moving anyone to be a better steward of anything.

But I do know that, whether or not I say anything meaningful here, whether or not there will ever be more than a handful of folks who even read this blog, this effort forces me to confront my faith; to face God purposefully every day; to consider my existence and heaven; to spend sacred time inadvertently.

With a hammer and nails and a fear of failure we are building a shed
Between here and heaven between the wait and the wedding
for as long as we both shall be dead to the world beyond the boys and the girls trying to keep us calm
We can practice our lines 'til we're deaf and blind to ourselves to each other where it's
Fall not winter spring not summer cool not cold
And it's warm not hot have we all forgotten that we're getting old.