Stuff I Want for Christmas (1)

"Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and pains, to a dear friend.  Tell Him you troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability.  Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself as others.  If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say.  You will never exhaust the subject,  It is continually being renewed.  People who have no secrets from each other never want for subjects of conversation.  They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back; neither do they seek for something to say.  They talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration, just what they think.  Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved intercourse with God."   -- François Fénelon

I have a few people who know bits and pieces about my life; my history, what's in my head these days, but no one actually knows my full story in all its gory details.  It's like they're the interpreters in that Monty Python skit about the funniest joke in the world (it's down there at the bottom - you should watch it).  I would really like to have someone in my life who knows it all, and doesn't judge me (out loud) or run away.  I mean besides God.  Who judges me.  And that's cool. 

But I digress.  What I mean to say is, how great would it be to have someone who knows all the back stories and can put things in context?  And to be that person for another.  To have someone else to understand, to maybe see patterns.  Someone with whom I wouldn't have to edit the things I say.  And someone who can be comfortable enough in silence, as well.

I can, and do, have this kind of relationship with God, but since He doesn't reply, it's not very satisfying (yeah, I know, I'm not supposed to feel that way).  I am glad I feel safe enough to say anything to Him. 
 
Anyway, it's on the list this year.