Yeah. One step back.
After a relatively successful day yesterday, I've had a set-back today. In the big scheme of things, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen, but it sure wasn't the best thing by a long shot. It's somewhere in the middle of minor nuisance and insurmountable problem. I'm hopeful there's a way to correct everything, but I'm anxious. And there was nothing I could do about it today except freak out and worry. Consequentially, that's what I did.
I was paralyzed. I curled up in an existential fetal position and gave up. All I've done today is pray to God, over and over, for help, and take the trash out.
So, now I have two challenges: trying to fix this whole thing tomorrow, and not giving in to the defeat. It's hard to not go down the path that this is some sort of karmic retribution - like how dare I try to improve my life. I know it's not; it's merely the result of earlier mistakes. It's just that it's too early in the process to be able to maintain a victorious attitude. It hasn't become a habit yet.
I hope I can sleep tonight. Whatever happens, I believe it will be alright eventually, with His help, and I'll get back on track. Sometimes you just need someone to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright.
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